Few people better expose the lunatic fringe in American politics than Charles P. Pierce and few people better represent the lunatic fringe than the snowbilly, Sarah Palin. Throw in the crazies that attend the CPAC and, … well let Mr. Pierce explain for himself.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — By now, and by god, it should have settled permanently in the consciousness of the nation what a huge and untoward gamble with the country John McCain and his campaign took in 2008 when they elevated Sarah Palin from her rightful place on the tundra to the political celebrity she currently enjoys. McCain should pay a heavy price for unleashing this ignorant, two-wheeled bilewagon on the country’s politics. If you think she’s a legitimate political leader, you’re an idiot and a sucker and I feel sorry for you.
Yesterday she gave a wildly received speech to ring down the curtain at CPAC. The applause, as far as I know, may still be going on. It was as singularly embarrassing a public address as any allegedly sentient primate ever has delivered. It was a disgrace to politics, to rhetoric, to the English language, and to seventh-grade slam books everywhere.
This ambulatiory bag of rank resentment pulled out all the tricks. The cheap shots; “Aw, John, why the long face?” to the Secretary of State. The sneering, wheedling playground taunting — “You can’t make a phone call without Michelle Obama knowing, ‘This is the third time this week you dialed Pizza Hut Delivery'” — and a full panoply of funny voices that are the trademark of dipshit comics in every two-drink minimum club in America. We got “hope and channng-ey,” and how “some members” of the GOP establishment are saying to us, “Hush, America. Go to sleep, little lambs.” And, in what is being celebrated as the piece de resistance , she turned Green Eggs And Ham into an extended taunt.
“I do not like this spyin’ man, I do not like ‘Oh, yes we can,’ I do not like this kind of hope, and we won’t take it nope, nope, nope.”
(Dr. Seuss, a noted progressive, was having dry heaves in the Void.)
If you laughed, you’re an idiot and I feel sorry for you.
“There is no free birth control. There is no free phone. There is no free health care. There are no free Fritos. There is no free lunch.”
Says a woman who’s been on the grift full time for five years now, and who did, in fact, manage to work in a plug for her next inevitably cancelled television show, citing “the places where most of the people who do the working and tax-paying live…and that’s where you’ll find… AMAZING AMERICA!” The folks at the Very Big Fish Channel or whatever it is must be thrilled.
We even got the inevitable gloat. Back five years ago, somebody wrote down on a little card for her that allowing the Russians to invade Georgia — as though there was anything we could have done about that — would embolden Vladimir Putin to move on Ukraine. She dutifully read it in public and now, of course, she is the smartest geopolitical mind in the country.
“After all, who could have seen this one coming?”
In 2008, we should remember, she wasn’t sure how many Koreas there were, thought Saddam Hussein was behind the 9/11 attacks, and was unclear whether or not Africa was a country. So, in an act of Christian charity, I will grant that some anonymous staffer, who very likely has only now recovered from the serious heroin habit he developed while working with Palin on foreign policy in 2008, was slightly clairvoyant about the intentions of the Putin government. Well done, unsung hero. If you respect her knowledge of anything beyond where her next speaking fee is coming from, you’re an idiot and I feel sorry for you.
A friend bailed on the speech, making the very plausible case that Palin is simply another political celebrity freakshow, like Donald Trump. I can see the point there but, with Palin, and watching the hysterical reception her puerile screed received, there is something more serious going on. She is the living representation of the infantilization of American politics, a poisonous Grimm Sister telling toxic fairy tales to audiences drunk on fear, and hate and nonsense. She respects no standards but her own. She is in perpetual tantrum, railing against her betters, which is practically everyone, and volunteering for the job of avatar to the country’s reckless vandal of a political Id. It was the address of a malignant child delivered to an audience of malignant children. If you applauded, you’re an idiot and I feel sorry for you.