Scooter Trash

I love a good satire piece.  I love it even more when it effectively illustrates the hypocrisy of the people who complain about “socialized” medicine and those who say Medicare/Medicaid increases the deficit.  We get both of these from Kara over at the HumorOutcasts website


The Revolution will not be Motorized

fastest mobility

Now that we’re all destined to become fat sacks of trash, it’s especially important that Americans be able to easily access their beloved scooters. But now that Barack Hussein Nobumer has criminalized being old, in the form of raiding The Scooter Store® for massive amounts of Medicare fraud, it’s death panels for us all after all.

It’s not like they didn’t warn us. “They’re just there to shepherd people to the FEMA Death Camps, and to pave the way for the Idealized Workers State/New Caliphate”, they said. “Government out of my Medicare!” they said. “Something about  Dr. Mengele,” they mumbled. But we didn’t listen. In fact, we LAUGHED. The Communist in Chief is criminalizing capitalism, and just what we would expect. Note to Obummer/FEMA: target Walmart next!

Approximately 150 federal and state law enforcement agents raided one of the biggest perpetrators of government fraud in America: The Scooter Store®. Yes, that’s right. The Scooter Store®. The Scooter Store® is the target of a massive federal investigation. The nation’s largest provider of single-person electric vehicles and power chairs is railroading doctors into prescribing chairs for its patients, most of whom are on Medicare or Medicaid. That way they can bill the government for their highly dubious “medical device”, while the patient gets a cool new scooter without paying a dime, and The Scooter Store® pockets a tidy profit.

The Scooter Store® tries to wear physicians down with non-stop phone calls and harassing office drop-ins. The Scooter Store® even has a special department devoted to getting scooters for patients who had already been ruled ineligible by Medicare – maybe because their ads guarantee that the chair will be free if they can’t get you qualified. The Scooter Store® is so good at getting Olds and not-so-Olds those scooters that a government audit found that they had over-billed Medicare by over $100 million between 2009-2012. It’s true, what their ads say:

“No other company will work harder to make you mobile.”

The disability fakers are the real criminals if you ask me – The Scooter Store® is just trying to make a buck off a bad situation. Unfortunately, the FBI won’t be going after the lazy able-bodieds who cheat the taxpayers into paying for their scooters (as a penalty, the real-criminal disability fakers should be required to scoot around on Razor scooters). Of course, you can’t judge the nature of someone’s disability by looking at them; people with arthritis and MS have days when they feel fit, and days when they can’t move more than a couple of steps. But, you CAN judge a disability faker a mile away. The Scooter Store® probably took a lesson from FL Gov. Rick Scott on how to bilk Medicare and Medicaid. His medical firm was hit with a $630 Million fraud fine for 13 felonies. Not surprised he managed to segue into politics.


There’s lazy, and then there’s Las Vegas lazy. Forking over about $40 a day and their pride, exhausted by the four miles of gluttony laid out before them, perfectly healthy tourists are cruising down the strip in transportation intended for the infirm. You can actually rent scooters in Las Vegas with extra large drink-holders so you don’t waste all those calories staggering and falling over after you get your drunk.

FatPersonScooter Palin supporter

Next, they’ll be coming to get our guns because they know we can’t get to ‘em first without our scooters. If the gubmint tries to take away the free Medicare scooters, we’ll come speeding into action….at five miles-per-hour.

ProtesterTeaPartyScooter teaparty scooter

I’d like to see these guys’ eyeballs explode when they see something REALLY worth getting upset over, like a famine or plague. Then again, it’s hard to imagine anything worse than having your scooter taken away, except maybe the horror of an attractive, intelligent, black Democrat taking the White House.

chaufered scooter


How are all these people going to get to their Tea Party rallies NOW??


In a related story, “The Price is Right” has been cancelled for lack of advertisers.

Oh, and when the Fiscal Poop Commission comes after our Social Security next year, we’ll probably just sit on our asses watching Dancing with the Slobs. And if our rascals aren’t flying by then I am going to be pissed.

14 responses to “Scooter Trash

      • Yes, I think so too. However the race is obstructed when the GOP is in the Executive branch, always filling important cabinet and agency positions with former private sector executives who become responsible for policing their former bosses. We know how that always goes down. Of course some of this appears to happen, albeit at a lesser degree, under the current administration as well.

  1. The pictures were mesmerizing in a horrific sort of way….. not to mention the text. I always wondered about those ads myself. Glad to see that outfit shut down (hopefully.)

    My hubby had a legitimate scooter (serious spinal injury left him where he couldn’t walk more than a few steps) and we quickly discovered that they aren’t all that easy to maneuver inside the average house. There was no breezing around as easily as the ads suggested. Then there’s the question of how to transport them anywhere. The kids sure loved ’em though.

    • There are definitely those who would physically benefit from one of these. That’s why when something like this gets abused by the supplier and some recipients who are not in dire need, it cheapens something that people like your husband need to ambulate beyond each room of the house.

  2. Oh dang, and I was hoping to add one of those little fun things to my vehicular collection! I’m so depressed now. I thought it was a gift we got at age 65? Drat. I still gotta walk!

  3. A nice satire of Progressive’s intolerance of middle America and elitist paternalism disguised as a satire of middle America. Very clever.

    • “Progressive’s intolerance of middle America”???

      Really? If these people were not white might you not refer to them as moochers and “takers”? Or are you just unhappy that someone took a swipe at the free markets that exploits older people for profit?

      Anyway, take your beef up with the author. I provided her link at the top of the post.

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