Not-So-Near Perfect

What would make this the perfect man?


According to a recent poll of women by Austin Reed, a British-based luxury tailor for men’s clothes, there are 30 characteristics they rated that would make the perfect man.  Here’s how they were listed.

  1. 6 feet tall
  2. Toned and athletic
  3. Brown eyes
  4. Short dark hair
  5. Smart dress sense
  6. Beer drinker
  7. Non-smoker
  8. Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper
  9. Gets ready in 17 minutes
  10. Stylish
  11. Wants a family
  12. Earns £48,000 ($77,000) a year
  13. Loves shopping
  14. Eats meat
  15. Clean shaven
  16. Smooth chest
  17. Watches soaps
  18. Enjoys watching football
  19. Drives an Audi
  20. Educated to degree level
  21. Earns more than his other half
  22. Jokes around and has a laugh
  23. Sensitive when his wife/girlfriend is upset
  24. Says ‘I love you’ only when he means it
  25. Admits it when he looks at other women
  26. Has a driver’s license
  27. Can swim
  28. Can ride a bike
  29. Can change a tire
  30. Calls mom regularly


Of the 30 characteristics, I am slightly above average owning 16 of them – IF I am totally honest about #23 – being sensitive when my wife is upset.  I could earn extra credit too if I used JUST FOR MEN® religiously to accommodate #4 – short dark hair.  “Dark” being the key word.

Some of these you would expect from a woman’s Adonis perspective, which unsurprisingly makes up the top 5 categories.  My qualifications skip past those and begin at #6.

Some are no-brainers too for most men like beer drinker, meat eater, enjoys watching football and most likely items #25 through 29.  But the one most men are adept at is #9, getting ready in 17 minutes.  In fact for some of us, this is a snail’s pace.  Depending on the occasion and location, 17 seconds is all most of us need to get ready.  I’m not sure why this is an important factor for women though.  It’s not like they’re going to be waiting on us to get ready in time for that dinner party.  Seventeen minutes is a fraction of the time they take deciding what they want to wear, initially.  I usually don’t shower, shave and dress until my wife is ready to leave the house in the next 15 minutes.

And I’m suspicious about #25 – admitting when we look at other women.  This sounds like a trap fellas so use your own judgement here.  Know thy female companion and tread lightly.

Let’s face it though.  This is not a scientific poll.  The Austin Reed site doesn’t even mention the poll on it’s home page.  I suspect also that some PR person connected to Austin Reed got this “survey” out into the blogosphere for commercial reasons in lieu of attracting curious on-lookers like me to click on their website.  If it is genuine – and there’s no reason to think it’s not – I suspect the target population for this was the 20 to 35 age range.  Considering the source, I’m sure they were primarily British too.  Hardly a group that would objectively reflect on older men like myself.

It would interesting to see what the women of the baby boom generation consider qualities of the so-called perfect man to be.  I’m sure things like hair of any kind (on the scalp of course), a sufficient retirement portfolio and the ability to ambulate without  the need of artificial devises would be in that list.  But if none like that can be found they might simply settle for someone who doesn’t pass gas in public, remembers anniversaries (if they remember anything at all) and does some house chores without being asked.   We’re a generation with simple needs and wants at this age.

Do we have less demanding expectations as we age?


7 responses to “Not-So-Near Perfect

  1. I sent this post to my daughter who sent it to her bf and about 30 friends who passed it around some more. LOL It was so funny how people see their “dream guy”. And if you are great at #23, you get extra credit!

  2. I’m not sure how well the Contrarian does on this. I don’t think he has enough hair though on his head. Most of it is on his face. I’ll ask him to take a look. Is this a serious list? lol

    • “I don’t think he has enough hair though on his head. Most of it is on his face”

      As long as there is more there than in his nostrils or on his eyebrows and ears. 🙂

      “Is this a serious list?”

      I think it’s meant to be but I find it kind of humorous

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s