"You're not making an impact if you're not pissing someone off"

Tag Archives: Santa Claus

Don’t you just love this time of year that maxes out credit cards and unites families to revisit arguments from the year before?  And how better to exhibit this joy than redecorating your house with cheap junk made with sweat labor from Asia.

Griswold-House-700px

 

When I was working for a new home builder as a Warranty Manager I had the pleasure of knowing an elderly couple who for them, Christmas was the ultimate holiday and they showed it by elaborate displays of Christmas paraphernalia that would make the shops on Rodeo Drive jealous.

The couple, Merry and Dave – that’s right, even the wife’s name reflected their love for the holiday – owned a home in Frisco, Texas and utilized an entire bedroom and its walk-in closet to store all of their ornaments, tree, lights and statues of Kris Kringle, angels, elves and reindeer.  If there was any part of the Christmas tree showing, it was an oversight that was quickly corrected with another ornament of the Magi or a sled.  It was an event that took Dave an entire month to assemble and hang, and another to take it all down and store away until next year.  It was literally wall-to-wall Christmas ornamentations.

The Juicy Couture boutique in Beverly Hills, Calif ain’t got nothing on Merry and Dave’s home decorations in Frisco, Tex.

The Juicy Couture boutique in Beverly Hills, California ain’t got nothing on Merry and Dave’s home decorations in Frisco, Tex.

Dave and Merry are of course the exception to such decorative displays.  Most I think who take the time to dress up their home, inside and out, are not quite as ambitious.  I’d like to think my wife and I fall into that category.  My wife, Roseann, works on the inside …

above the TV dining room table hallway decorations living room decorations more hallway decorations the tree

… and I tackle the outside for the most part, though she is also a big contributor to the low-hanging decorations like the lights on entry walk and the garden wall at the front of the house.

entry walk decorations garden wall decorations

And here’s what the finished product looks like.

Xmas on Sherman Dr

Okay, so maybe we do tend to exert ourselves a bit but Clark & Ellen Griswold we’re not.

Of course most people don’t bother to decorate at all.  Let’s face it.  The Christmas spirit for many entails lighting themselves up with plenty of yuletide eggnog or a bourbon-laced hot toddy rather than lighting up their home.

But what about those half-hearted efforts we often see by some who have at least thought about participating but just didn’t see themselves taking it too far.  You know the type.  A Christmas wreath on the front door.  One red and one green flood light in the driveway light fixture anchored on the exterior wall.  Or the single string of lights around the front door frame.

These are men and women you might think are cheap or simply lazy but I like to see them as people with minimalist tendencies.  They drive the most economic version of transportation with only an AM  radio, adjusting their own side mirrors and roll down their own windows.  They have basic cable or may even get their reception from an outside antenna.  And watering the lawn during the summer is required only when the grass starts showing shades of yellow.  You may want to snobbishly chortle at such people but at least they can make paychecks meet and even sneak a little away in a hidden nest egg so they can take that weekend summer trip to Pensacola or Bossier City, Louisiana.

So, in  celebration of the Christmas minimalist, let me display a few of their decorative efforts I have observed on my daily walk with my dog Millie in tow here in my hometown.  Click on each pic to get a better view

Here are a few of the typical minimalist decorations with a door wreath.  As the first photo shows, double doors means double wreaths along with a reminder of the July 4th holiday off to the side.  The red, white, blue and green of Christmas is a cherished tradition for some apparently.

double door wreaths door wreath and porch ornament single wreath

Most Christmas minimalist tend to stay close to the porch.  The first one reflects this while the second ventured out to the yard and decorated their walkway lamp post

porch santa walkway light fixture decoration

This one seems more like a cop-out rather than explaining why they didn’t decorate their yard with nothing more than a realtor’s yard sign.  Jesus’ dad lights up the sky with a heavenly host of angels and they can’t run a string or two of lights?

jesus is the reason I jesus is the reason II

Nothing says Xmas like an inflatable Santa.  It took more effort to wrap the boxes at his feet than it did to blow him up.

inflatable Santa

Not only did this person not take time to decorate for Xmas, they took an equal amount of time to remove their Halloween decoration.

Halloween pumpkins

This one I threw in as a bonus. It has nothing to do with Xmas but does indicate that if people with dogs are passing by and their pet wants to leave a little gift on their yard, please be sure to tote it off in the gift wrapping they so generously supply here.  Might Santa have need for it should Donner or Blitzen drop a loaf while visiting?

doggy poop bags

But none that I have seen here in Denton beats this clever effort by what has to be the greatest Christmas minimalist alive today.

a true Christmas minimalist

‘Ditto’ sign on Kristina Green’s house points to Christmas lights display on Eric Cyr’s house.

Of course what really matters is that we let the tension from work subside and allow ourselves to be transformed for a brief period as the colder weather sets in and songs of Noel are playing on the radio 24-7.

Christmas takes on some different meanings for many people but it has something we all share.  Outside of the negative atmosphere generated by the “war on Xmas” crowd and the crass commercialism that begins the day before Halloween, most of us are transferred back in time when, as children, a two-weeks break from school was thought to be the greatest gift of all and the sense that something really magical was transpiring as Christmas day approached, making us truly glad to be alive.

Merry Christmas Everyone


In the spirit of the holiday I thought I would keep things light.  Yesterday’s editorial in my local newspaper offers up the perfect commentary for this purpose.  It’s both humorous and somewhat nostalgic.  Merry Christmas to all of you.

‘O, Little Town of Scooby-dooby-doo’

Our editorialist was trapped in a moving automobile last weekend as his wife played a succession of contemporary “Christmas albums” on the car stereo. He said it was enough to make him want to burn his Santa Claus suit.

We know what he means. We are big fans of Christmas music — the traditional carols and the majestic oratorios — but we cannot for the life of us figure out why anyone would want to listen to a rapper spit out the words to “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” or endure the efforts of an aging crooner as he puts a Las Vegas spin on “The Little Drummer Boy.”

We blame the late Gene Autry for all this. It was Autry, a singing movie cowboy by trade, who recorded “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” in 1949, and we can’t remember a Christmas since then that our ears haven’t been assaulted by some gimmicky holiday song or another, or by an album of “Christmas favorites” butchered by some second-rate singer who shouldn’t be allowed to perform “O, Holy Night” in the shower, let alone in a recording studio.

(Not the least of the crimes Autry is answerable for is the one of insinuating this intruder, Rudolph, into the true, authentic team of Santa Claus’ reindeer as recorded by Clement C. Moore in his classic poem A Visit from St. Nicholas. Children today — even some adults! — labor under the false impression that the bulbous-nosed pretender was an actual colleague of Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen.)

And “Rudolph” is not even the worst of the contemporary Christmas songs. Year after year, composers seem to vie to see who can write the silliest, most insipid lyrics to sell to the gullible holiday trade. We have mothers kissing Santa Claus; we have grandmothers getting run over by reindeer; we have toothless waifs wishing for incisors in their stockings. We rock around the Christmas tree and do the “Jingle-Bell Rock.”

In the spirit of the season, we want to be charitable about this. Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas” is a fine Christmas song, possessed of a lovely melody and beautiful lyrics that evoke memories of Christmases past.

And those of us of a certain age will likely shed a tear each time we hear “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” or “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” They were written in the darkest days of World War II, and their evocations of soldiers pining for their families back home will have meaning as long as that Greatest Generation lives.

But we could live the rest of our lives happily without hearing Alvin the chipmunk place another order for a hula hoop.

Generally speaking, and with the aforementioned exceptions notably excepted, we say that anyone who has written a “Christmas song” after about 1945 deserves a lump of coal in his stocking, and anyone who sings one of them on a contemporary “Christmas album” is no better than a humbug.

(Now that we think of it, we also issue a special dispensation to “Deck Us All with Boston Charlie,” the great Walt Kelly’s comic-strip carol, as sung by Pogo ’Possum and all his Okefenokee Swamp pals. Now that’s a Christmas song for the ages!)


About two weeks ago I wrote a piece on Frank Capra’s inspiring 1946 film “It’s A Wonderful LIfe”.  Of the two things that I mentioned that have endured in my life from watching that film, one of them recently played itself out for me.  The George Bailey character in the movie, played so marvelously by Jimmy Stewart, was given an opportunity to see what the world would be like had he not been born.  On this aspect of the film I commented:

Most of our actions are daily and seemingly mundane but everyone of us have perhaps said or done something once in our life that has made an impact on another and perhaps altered their life to some degree.  Were we always aware of how our comments and actions are filtered by those we come into contact with, we might weigh them more prudently and less-selfishly.

Today, I stepped out my front door on my way to the mailbox and almost tripped over a beautiful potted Poinsettia.

 I thought at first that a friend of my wife’s had left it for her.  She seems to do a lot of “secret Santa” type stuff each year.  But the note attached to the plant dispelled that notion and left me just a bit astonished.  It had obviously been typed out on a computer printer but it was so informally written as to give me the sense that it was handwritten.  I was moved as I read it.

Thank You!

We have lived on Emerson Lane near Woodrow Wilson Elementary School for the past 15+ years.  During this time, we have driven past your home on our daily commutes to school, work, church grocery stores. (Piggly Wiggly), etc.

Each Thanksgiving our children watched with anticipation for Santa and Mrs. Claus kissing under the huge star on your roof.

It was officially the Christmas season when “Santa and Mrs. Claus by the Pig Store” when(sic) up!

Our kids (twins) are 22 years old now and of course “The Pig Store”” is long gone.

Thank you for providing a Christmas Tradition to our family.

The letter was signed but I’ll withhold it here for reasons that respect the lady’s privacy who signed it.  I do  not recognize her name even though Emerson Lane is a mere two blocks just north of my house.  The “Pig Store” she’s referring to is the Piggly Wiggly grocery store that shut down a little over a year ago.  They simply weren’t profitable enough to compete with Kroger’s nearby and the Super Wal-mart store a few miles from here.  The building remains empty to this day.

“Santa and Mrs. Claus” are two hardwood cutouts my wife bought some 15 plus years ago from an acquaintance who did this type of art work as a hobby, but one that provided a small income for them, especially during the holiday season.  It’s anchored to a front brick facade on my house as seen here.

Santa is holding a sprig of mistletoe over Mrs. Claus’ head to entice her for perhaps a farewell kiss before he summons Rudolph and friends to set out on their annual global trek.

The star on my roof is five strands of miniature lights connected together that I have hand-fashioned into the shape my heretofore unknown admirer and her kids have enjoyed all of these years. I marked the star’s point spots with a colored caulk that matches the roof shingles so I can easily locate them each year without the hassle of trying to successfully achieve each year what I was able to do on my first effort nearly two decades ago.

Several of our friends have commented on the star and one businessman that lived around the block from our home some years ago (and who has since moved) stopped by to ask one day how I had created a star that size that looks reasonably symmetrical in its design.  “Got Lucky”, I told him.  But I made sure that it wouldn’t be luck in the future by marking the star’s points.

Each year as I age it get’s a little tougher to put out the Christmas decorations.  I did stop putting up lights along the front facia trim and up the ridges of the roof because it was just becoming too physically taxing.  I was going to stop laying out the star also but my wife, who really get’s into dressing up the house, keeps encouraging me each year to continue.  I think the fact that so many of her friends comment on it each year makes her feel that it’s important to not let them down.  But it wasn’t until we received this poinsettia and the note that if became clear to me how much something as simple as this not only gave her friends a few weeks of pleasure each time they passed by but how it has become a “Christmas tradition” for an entire family that we have never even met.

I now realize that until my body is completely crippled, I must find the energy each year to put Santa and Mrs. Claus up, stealing a kiss under the make-shift “Star of David”, lest I ruin a moment of delight for a few of my neighbors.  The crass commercialism that this holiday has become a part of has ruined the mood for me as I’m sure it has with most everyone else.  But now there is renewed meaning for me.  One that reaffirms the emotional joy that only children can exude from seeing symbols of the holiday that enable their sense of anticipation for that special morning under the Christmas tree.

Two "kids" and their toy pony


“If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.” - Bill Cosby

Based on Bill Cosby’s evaluation of it you might presume that no matter what people tell you about it you’re apt to be surprised none-the-less about what fatherhood actually entails. It is the experience itself, not the knowledge of it, that can never be accurately conveyed for what awaits a new dad. Here is my attempt in a humorous fashion to set your expectations.

1. Sleep Deprivation. Forget about Circadian rhythms. Normal sleep cycles are a thing of the past. No amount of money will motivate the wife to take your turn at late night feedings and diaper changes.
2. Vomit Reflex. If you thought that only heavy bingeing would extricate your previous meal, you’re in for a rude awakening.  Between my heaving and the diaper poop, my dog – who would eat his own feces – ran screaming from the house.
3. Loss of credibility. Feeling vulnerable when they discover YOU are Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.
4. Teddy-bear syndrome.   No, not the stuffed animal you put with your child as they crawled into bed but the sensation that overcame you while watching them sleep. Awwwhhhhhhhhh.
5. Unexpected elation upon putting the kids to bed. The fact that someone could be asleep and it would bring you such a feeling of rapture.
6. Sexual abstinence. Not only being unable to “fool around” (with your wife of course) right before and after the birth of your first child but seriously contemplating celibacy for yourself 6 months later.  I mean, do you really want to go through this more than once?
7. Forget that Harley and a week-long “freedom” ride. Tucking extra money away now goes to a college education fund. Maybe they’ll qualify for Pell Grants?
8. Sand-castle meister. Going to the beach is no longer about “cruising chicks” unless you count driving the family to Miami.
9. Securing the bathroom. There are actually (little) people in the house now who don’t mind “visiting” you while reading a magazine on the throne. You did burn your copies of Playboy, right?
10. Knowing you have contributed to your future security. One day, if you survive,  they will compensate you for all your sacrifices by contributing to your Social Security benefits.
Being a father takes a sense of humor. Have fun and watch with astonishment.  You don’t get any re-takes.

 



Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 81 other followers