May 17, 2013
Christians are funny people. They believe in an unseen God and even agree among themselves that he answers them in their prayers to him. But let someone say that have a personal line to the man and, well … let this experience with a candidate for the North Miami mayor’s seat speak to this last part
It’s traditional in politics, especially in pockets of the South where the culture is steeped in religion to convey to the voters that they hold “traditional Christian values” – an expression that is often code, telling voters that they are not a liberal Muslim socialist and that a “higher authority” guides their policy decisions, not the reality of grounded facts.
But clearly this candidate running for North Miami mayor has taken this tradition to a new level. Claiming Jesus has endorsed her campaign is a game of one-upmanship that didn’t play out well with voters. In a field of seven candidates Anna Pierre came in dead last with only 56 votes cast for her. Think what would have happened had Jesus not been supporting her.
While bongos are seen supporting Anna Pierre here in an earlier photo, the support she claims she had from Jesus didn’t seem to help her candidacy for mayor
Ms. Pierre’s self-confidence is apparent in her on-line bio. She has claimed to have overcome many obstacles in her life. “I hate to hear ‘No’ she tells us. “I refuse to let people tell me you can‘t do this, you can‘t do that because I am a woman, because of where I come from, or because I have a French name. It’s like putting fuel in my tank. And full speed ahead.”
I think being a french-Haitian woman is the least of her worries. Everyone likes a rags-to-riches story, especially when achieved by minorities. But should she choose to run again in the next election cycle someone might suggest using a more realistic endorsement. It may have worked for Bush in 2000 but Anna Pierre didn’t have his great wealth and political connections in the Supreme Court.
May 4, 2013
Some people choose to squander the advances we humans have made since we first crawled out of the cesspool of our evolutionary beginnings
The human animal. The one with the most developed brain, even if many still only use that portion they first had at the beginning of our evolution over 6 million years ago. We are both beast and angel; awe-inspiring and all confounding. We are at our best when we expand the limits of that organ contained within our skulls. But some see that space better serving lesser needs. For the right price, the outside of the cranium, not the inside, best serves their interests.
Sure, they may earn some revenue for providing a part of their anatomy as a commercial billboard but they’ve also demonstrated the value they’ve placed on the essence of their being. The tadpole they’ve evolved from has only served their need to provide more body space to give meaning to something of no redeeming value. But in a world where we value the human being in us less than the cash we trade ourselves in for, who can be surprised that the lowest common denominator has persuasive powers over some?
Though they can feel good that they’re not a Pol Pot or a Josef Mengele, will they ever have doubts about their ability to aspire to anything other than being someone else’s tool?
And for those who were thinking these are merely new age Christians promoting that place that waits for all who earned a spot in it after their death – you know, the one with the streets of gold – prepare yourself for a letdown when you type in goldenpalace.com in your search engine. On the other hand, this may give others something to look forward to after this life.
April 19, 2013
To give everyone a break from my tirades on “stupid” in my home state of Texas I thought I would demonstrate that “stupid” is not limited to just one state.
Sex Ed classes in Ohio will become severely restricted if an amendment attached to their budget bill passes both Houses and signed off by the governor.
New sex education standards that would ban any teaching that condones “gateway sexual activity” and allows parents to sue if their child receives such instruction are among the Republican amendments added to the two-year budget bill today. SOURCE
With such a vague reference its hard to know exactly what could be classified as a “gateway sexual activity” by an ultra-conservative court so in the future here’s a possible example of sex ed in Ohio highs schools.
Teacher: Today class we will be discussing how babies are born. There will be a slide presentation and following that we will open it up for discussion. Gwen, get the lights please.
Teacher: Gwen get the lights. Any questions class?
Student: Yeh. Where’s the part about the fairy dust Jesus and the angels sprinkle over the mom to make the baby?
In a related story, an anonymous mailing was sent to all Ohio GOP House and Senate representatives with the following message
Any questions Republicans?
March 1, 2013
WARNING FOR ALL WOMEN: Male Sex Education Follows
For anyone who sits in front of a computer screen daily and opens their browser page, they will inevitably be hit with an ad that appeals to a male’s testosterone levels. Lord knows most men are compelled to feel they can still effect an erection “naturally” without the aid of a drug like Viagra® and Cialis®. So when an ad very similar to the one here appears on your screen, what hot-blooded man is not going to see what’s behind such “weirdness”.
It turns out however that “natural” will have little to do with what’s promised you. Once you’ve clicked on the link that says Learn More, you quickly realize that the only thing you will “learn” is that you have once again become the victim of the oldest con since the snake convinced Eve of what great things lay in store for her upon eating that forbidden fruit.
If you were thinking that clicking on the link would reveal even greater “weirdness” than some voluptuous, nubile, scantily-clad woman running through golden fields of wheat softly caressing her thighs, you will soon deflate to the reality that you’ve been pimped, and not in a good way.
Replacing that well-rounded, long-haired vixen beauty is a serious ad that may or may not have another female tease at the top of it but will read like some snake oil sells pitch. Every good snake oil sells pitch will have the following characteristics.
The market is abuzz with many products that promise X but there is only one that guarantees it. Our’s.
It’s the latest and greatest. Everybody’s talking about it so don’t be left out
A few alleged testimonials from generic “satisfied” customers like Bob, Derrick and Ron
The pretentious claims about the product
Following all of this is the assurance that if you’re not satisfied there’s a money back guarantee. Sad to say the testosterone product in this particular case doesn’t offer this money back guarantee but it does offer free samples. But guess what? Yep, you will need to give them a credit card number and pay for the shipping and handling for a 14-day supply. So much for free.
Beware though, in the fine print below the point that you have already submitted your payment for is the comment that there is “no obligation to buy anything in the future, AS LONG AS YOU CALL TO CANCEL WITHIN 18 DAYS OF PLACING YOUR ORDER.” Unless you catch this caveat up front you’re sure to do so about 18 days following the placement of your order when a full 6-months supply of the product arrives in your mailbox and a hit on your credit card for the low, low price of $199.00 has already occurred.
So what do you get for all of your efforts? Well according to their findings – the ones they gleaned from the likes of Bob, Derrick and Ron – you may experience the following
More Strength and Endurance
What happens however if you take the 14-day supply and you don’t convince yourself that you are experiencing all of these improvements? Call them. I’m sure they’ll ask you what they stated in the ad. Did you take the pills in conjunction with “the help of a regular strength training routine”? You did catch that part of the ad didn’t you?
Now I haven’t thoroughly investigated this product so I can’t tell you for sure that this product will do what it says but I can be pretty sure of one thing. Without engaging in a vigorous strength training routine all you are likely to get is an introduction to your body of chemicals that promise much but are dubious at best. The ingredients for this product are listed below:
You get all the free Vitamin D you need by getting out in the sun periodically. Vitamin B6 can be ingested through good foods like brown rice, potatoes and chickpees. As for the other ingredients? Well, don’t get too excited about their claims as stand alone sources of male enhancement. One google search for Testofen found the following caveat.
There are several criticisms of Testofen™, however. A number of experts dispute the claims made by clinical tests on the compound, citing that most tests were conducted on mice, not humans, and were, therefore, not predictive of the compound’s effect on men. In addition, much attention is brought to the fact that a large number of tests that were conducted on human subjects were privately funded by pharmaceutical companies with ties to Testofen™, a situation that might potentially lead to infected results. SOURCE
I hope every man has a long and vigorous sex life, including myself. After a while though the effort seems hardly worth it and you can achieve the same effect going solo. This obviously applies equally to women who many have already learned to achieve this even during sex with their male partners. But I’m not here to tear down my gender.
I am here to advise them that what many expensive products claim they will do for your love life can just as easily be obtained by staying healthy on your own through exercise and a proper diet and perhaps an occasional porn video during certain lulls. If erectile dysfunction is not forthcoming with this then a red flag should be going up. Failure to “get it up” is the canary in the coal mine, warning you that excesses in certain foods, alcoholic drinks and lifestyle are fixing to lay a big heart disease whoop ass on you. If you think an unresponsive Johnson is depressing laying in bed with your woman, wait until some 300 pound para-medic is giving you chest compressions in an attempt to revive you from a heart attack.
So rather than sitting in front of a computer screen everyday as you eat your cheese doodles and drink a large Coke thinking your solution for a energetic sex life lies behind the Learn More link of an ad with an appealing woman, toss the junk food, exercise frequently and quit fantasizing that anything hot like this really wants you crawling under the sheets with her.
February 24, 2013
The Writing is on the
What kind of man looks at a woman’s legs, especially the upper thigh of young nubile ladies and thinks to themselves, “Something is missing here”? I can’t ever recall having my head turned by a lovely set of lower stems on the opposite sex and wishing they could me more concealed with marketing logos and information to enhance my appreciation of fleshy thighs. But if you’re in advertising, no place is too sacred to hawk your customer’s product.
It is a country known for its unique way of advertising. But now Japan has gone one step further with women renting out their bare legs for companies market their products in return for payment.
With the notion that a good advertisement should be put where everyone’s eyes are drawn, an attractive woman’s limbs seem like the perfect idea – and sure enough, the clever marketing strategy is proving a huge hit with businesses all across Tokyo.
As of November 2012, about 1,300 girls have already registered their legs as ad space with Absolute Territory PR, and the number keeps increasing. SOURCE
Now naturally the lascivious nature of most men will find this appealing to some extent by allowing us to look at this part of the female anatomy without appearing to be licentious. RIGHT! What wife or female mate is going to buy into that BS?
Telling your significant other that you just wanted to make sure the mark down on men’s briefs was really 40% after glaring at an area just inches from another woman’s vagi-gi will probably not pass muster with someone who you once told that you only have eyes for her.
The fact of the matter is that any man who still thinks his virility is something to wear as a badge of honor should come out and protest the fact that women’s sensual body parts should be used to create a distraction for what really transpires in men’s thoughts as they eye some shapely female strolling by.
Who wants to glance down at a comely set of female appendages and be reminded that Gas-X helps relieve that bloated feeling after a meal?
Hey Mad Men! Dayenu – “enough already”. You’ve already plastered your messages along every highway and street corner, on every football, basketball and baseball stadium and we can’t go seven minutes watching The Deadliest Catch, Duck Dynasty or Myth Busters without and equal amount of time for ads hawking some phallus-shaped road machine, Viagra or LowTesterone hormones. Now you want to paste your hyperbolic distortions on the softest thing next to a baby’s bottom? Is nothing sacred anymore? Have you no shame at all?
February 17, 2013
A Demonstration of How Dumbing Down Doesn’t Work
Dale Peterson, who has just discovered that going to the bathroom before shopping Wal-Mart is better than not doing so
Dale Peterson, a former Republican candidate for Alabama agriculture commissioner known for an ad hitting “thugs and criminals” that “don’t give a rip,” says he will attempt to get a shoplifting charge dismissed.
Peterson was stopped by employees at a Wal-Mart after taking a shopping cart of beer and paper towels past the store’s cash registers without paying. He claims he was rushing to the bathroom, not trying to steal beer. SOURCE
A smarter man would have known that though Wal-Mart buys cheap Chines goods, they can afford to supply toilet paper in their bathrooms. And you might want to wait on emptying your bladder from the last 6-pack of beer you consumed before starting over.