It’s that time of year again for me to roll out my Thanksgiving humor piece. This will be the 2nd year I’ve posted this on my blog but the third year all total from the time I first posted it on the AC Content site, now known as Yahoo! Voices. That means some of you will have to indulge me one more time while others will see it for the first time. I hope the 2nd (and third) times for some of you (yes, I’m thinking of you Donna) will still enjoy it. Maybe by next year I will come up with a sequel or something altogether new. In the meantime, here’s Tom Turkey’s view of life in the too-soon-to-die lane.
Why do I start feeling uneasy when the leaves start changing colors? What is it about this time of year that creates a need for me to put my life in order? Here I am, without a care amongst my peers and being fed very nourishing meals. I do begin to worry that my thighs are becoming overly plump, however. That can’t be a good thing. And I get to lollygag around in a sheltered enclosure, somewhat crowded but appearing to thin out more and more each day. Can life get any better?
I can recall my days as a young poult. I haven’t been here that long but it was a happy time with all my kin. And yet, there’s been this dread that all was not well either. I began to see less of the older relatives and more and more new turkeys would arrive from places unknown. Poor things would look half-starved. That would change of course as they were “fattened up” so to speak by our great accommodations and generous hosts here at Turkey Trot Farms.
Rumor has it that there is a great feast that ultimately we will attend. There will be a large gathering of people who will stand over us with looks of adoration and anticipation. We will be the center of attraction and many will rejoice later that day about how satisfied they were with us. So why do I have this propensity to worry and feel an inexplicable, uncomfortable warmth about me?
I appear to have favorable views by my human providers. Each day they give me a physical work over and seem delighted that I am progressing to their great satisfaction. Just last week I received a recognition that everyone is gobbling about. It’s a nice shiny medal engraved with the salutary “Grade A” on it that my human admirers seem to take exceptional glee with. It did hurt just a bit though when they stapled it to my wing but that is perhaps necessary to prevent any theft or loss. Some of my younger cousins do appear to be grudgingly envious of it; not to mention I really don’t have a safe place I can keep it.
I feel good about my surroundings and yet there is an air of foreboding. I sense it more each day when my human caretakers visit our abode and then leave with some of my friends and relatives. Perhaps I just have an excessive sense of anxiety. Why would I feel angst at the fact that I am well tended to and well-nourished? I am relatively young and I have my whole life before me.
Oh look! There are my human friends now and it appears they are heading my way. I wonder what joy they will bring into my life today?
Have a Safe and Full-filling Thanksgiving Holiday !